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I work down at the pizza pit
And I drive and old Hundai
I still live with my mom and dad
I 5 3 and overweight

I m a Sci-fi fantatic
Mild athsmatic
Never been to 2nd base
But there s a whole nother me
That you need to see
Go check out MySpace

Cause online I m down in Hollywood
I m 6 5 and I look damn good
I drive a Mazarati
I m a black belt in Karate
And I love a good glass of wine

It turns girls on that I m mysterious
I tell em I don t want nothing serious
Cause even on a slow day I can have a three way
Chat with two women at one time

I m so much cooler online
So much cooler online

I get home, I kiss my mom
And she fixes me a snack
I head down to my basement bedroom
And fire up the mac

In real life, the only time I
Ever even been to LA
Was when I got the chance with the marching band
To play tuba in the Rose Parade.

Online I live in Malibu
I posed for Calvin Kline, I ve been in GQ
I m single and I m rich
And I got a set of six pack abs that ll blow your mind

It turns girls on that I m mysterious
I tell em I don t want nothing serious
Cause even on a slow day I can have a three way
Chat with two women at one time

I m so much cooler online
Yeah I m cooler online

When you got my kinda stacks, it s hard to get a date
Let alone a real girlfriend
But I grow another foot
And I lose a bunch of weight everytime I log in

Online I m out in Hollywood
I m 6 5 and I look damn good
Even on a slow day, I can have a three way
Chat with two women at one time

I m so much cooler online
Yeah I m cooler online
I m so much cooler online
Yeah I m cooler online

The coast is clear.
The coast is everywhere.
I must have reached the end of the year
Of searching for meanings in meaning
The coast is clear.

Tides rush in.
Are we all being tugged by the same needy force
That tugged me in, let tides rush in.
That tucks us in with a kiss on closed...

Draw the line
Don t want to waste my time
On an unresponsive
Kid like you
Who made the effort
You devil in disguise
You just keep on trying
To win affection with your smile

Baby cry so easy
Expect me to believe
In the love that
You re looking for
(In the love that you re looking for)
Say you d never...

Whatever I do
I m in confusion
I m thinking of you
You re always on my mind
it s so hard to live
without an Illusion
I hope you forgive
the things that I ve done

When I came home...

It s better to be happy than sad
Happiness is the best thing there is
It is like a light in the heart
But to make a samba with beauty
It s needed a bit of sadness
If not the samba can t be made

To make a samba is...

Out here on the ledge
I m not far away from stepping off
I ve finally picked out my cloud
It s the one over there
Surrounded by all that air

You reached out your hand
And said I understand
So why not come down

Well except for a few small bruises, cuts,and scars well I m...